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This is another post concerning the meaning of number. This study is often called esoterica, number logic, god-spell, sacred math, and many other things.

Some call it nonsense.

The number nine is a strange and paradoxical number. It hides in plain sight, returning what is given, and reflecting what is seen. Turned on its head, nine appears to be a six heading the wrong direction. Consciousness is askew. It is said to be the number of the ego. Much is made of “I” being the ninth letter. Some call nine problematic and chaotic. They prefer the clean symmetry of eight, and claim it is the true ruler of numbers. Perhaps these are the same people that call for the death of ego, but I do not. I beg it to live. But I ask it to be at peace, to understand it’s place, for then the individual is truly powerful.

Nine is the number of months spent in the blessed prison of the womb, the mother freely giving of herself in order to bring about a new life. Each and every one of us is a new life. The nine continues to ten, and now there is one with room to play, study, and grow. We must count, and we shall have to count higher and higher until we perceive the meaning of nine. It is consciousness turned inward, knowing it must die if it will live again and again.

Nine is the return to the individual, only he has stepped through the braiding energies of eight and arrived on the other side. The keys to the Nine Gated City of God are forged with care and vigilance, and can be shaped by none other than the one that walks the path. No longer does the individual see only himself in the spinning cosmos, for he recognizes the divine in everything around him. Everything is conscious – the dirt and the sea, and everything in it. It is all worthy of understanding. But the individual is no longer threatened by the divinity of the rocks and the ocean. His place is secure, for he understands that although fear creeps at the heart, even when he forgets, the universe remembers. Naught is lost.

I am blessed, and although I am God’s chosen, so are all the others. My path is mine alone, but it welcomes my dancing feet and supports every step I take, be they proper or not. The only way to proceed through the maze is with eyes wide open, leaning on the strengths granted me, and obscuring my weaknesses, with wit and talent. God has granted his grace, and I receive it with a grateful heart. This is the miracle – the mirror clue – that maps the plentiful paths home.

We all grow from the heart. It is the middle, and we are born in the middle, life from death, the proper pentagram blooming from the corpse of the inverted star. The heart germinates as we root into the physical world, and branch for the heights of consciousness. The heart is our trunk, pushing and pulling the vital essences within us. Each of us should embrace the life given us. It is no less a path than any other, and deserves the dignity of conscious sight.

Ego is a love of the self, although it is known to inflate and carry us off into grand delusions. But we must not seek the death of such a noble individual, for each path has noble cause, and each path must develop a noble creed. I am meant for me alone. It will take all the strength of the body, all the grace of the heart, and all the cunning of the mind to step from the small interests of the world, and nurture instead the divine interests of the common universe. If I am asked to add to the world, I must first love myself and the part I play.

Do not lament your weakness. Instead, give thanks for your strength. Do not begrudge the struggle of others and the answers they create for themselves, unless they infringe on the rights and dignities of others. Do not not begrudge the crutches and assistance others take, for we all lean from time to time. Judge not, lest ye be judged. Smile and grant others your grace. Open your heart, and give gratitude for the capacity and interest of those around you. Forgive and forget, that the worse parts of your self might be invisible to the eyes of your brothers and sisters.

You are the Adam Kadmon, and all the world is yours to name. Define your terms, and sign on the dotted line, that the universe might contract and expand you with the pulse of inhale and ex. The universe know of your imperfection and begs only that you play your part with heart and courage, an able actor chosen specifically for your role. What will you be? Will you be a poet? A warrior? A villain, healer, musician, sneak, teacher, specialist, or jack of many trades? There is yet time to highlight your strengths and scrub at the stains of your mistakes. I for one will be a thief with the words of others at my mouth, for all is mine, and I share it freely with you: Be who you are, everyone else is taken.

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interview starts 37:15 Charles Ortel joins us for a chat about the Clinton Foundation and other false front charities. There are over a million tax exempt organizations in the States. Charles has been investigating the legality of The Clinton Foundation and it’s web of donors and charities…. what he’s calling the Clinton charity network. This is way bigger than the Clintons, and its not about the right or the left. Charles has uncovered many discrepancies with the way this foundation is set up and what has been happening to the money. Charles is an investor and a writer interested in geo-politics, history and economics. He’s been putting this research online for free for all to see.  This scandal could be setting a terribleprecedence for others in office to create these money laundering and pay to play charities.  We chat about the history of this specific foundation and the history of charity law. These “merchants of misery” use disasters and crisis capitalism along with sovereignty changes to funnel money to their private coffers. Charles also talks about the genesis of this research and where he is going with it in the near future. This is just scratching the surface and maybe there is a chance to expose this robin hood in reverse global corruption before its too late.     See below for approximate time stamp of the topics we chat about….:   41:40 – The inner workings of charities and how they are supposed to be set up and work. 47:00 – The Clinton Foundations “little” broken rules. 54:00 – The Haiti mission and the 14 billion 1:04:00 – The dirt on Laureate education and managing to get 4 billion in debt. 1:36:00 – UNITAID, in for a billion, collaboration of countries in Europe. 1:46:00 – What will happen to the Clintons if/when caught and how likely…..   In the intro Darren and Graham shoot the shit about listener feedback and synchronicities and chat about experimental ways to alter consciousness in high school. A warm welcome to all of our new listeners. One of our listeners suggest creating a link to movies and books that have assisted in a “spiritual awakening”. Graham has a couple appropriate UFO quotes of the week and reads an email with lucid dreaming advice from a listener.   See below for links to stuff we chatted about during the show and the intro: episode with Clif High episode with James Corbett The Four Agreements Conversations with God The Fountain The Silent Flute, asa The Circle of Iron Being There Clinton Cash   Please Help support the show. Grimerica’s Honey DoBeDoBeDo List: !! – Grimerica is fully and solely listener supported. We adhere to the Value for Value model.  0 ads, 0 sponsorships, 0 breaks, 0 portals and links to corporate websites… just many hours of unlimited content for free. Thanks for listening!!   Leave a Voicemail Leave a review on iTunes and/or Stitcher    Sign up for our newsletter

Leave a comment, ideas and guest/topic suggestions under any episode or blog  

SPAM Graham = and send him your synchronicities, feedback, strange experiences and psychedelic trip reports!! InstaGRAM    Tweet Darren   Purchase swag, with partial proceeds donated to the show Send us a postcard or letter

Thanks to Wayne Darnell for help with the website. link to Napolean Duheme’s site   MUSIC  Grimerica Theme – Lock & Key Don’t Stop No Sleep – Radio Slave Bill Clinton Strut – Rothschild & Rockefeller  

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I’ve settled on a format for blogging at Grimerica. I will be writing volumes of 3 and possibly more articles. Each volume will be followed by a standalone post that will aggregate whatever I’ve been interested in lately in the form of videos mostly, but also factoids, podcasts, images and so forth. The goal of course is to post stuff that will intersect with Grimerican interests and possibly weave a vague theme with the differing elements.

Best of luck this weekend of the half moon. I am currently in Seattle for the Esoteric Book Conference. If you are also there, hit me up on twitter: @ulyssesnewcomb. Let’s grab a beer.

#1: So I recently learned that Samhain is pronounced “sow-in”. Like “sound” with a silent “d”. It is the time when the veil is the thinnest. Timing is everything, use this at your advantage. You are welcome.

#2: The sounds of space.

#3: A lot of predictive models both esoteric and not are predicting major changes this fall. See #1.

#4: “Mock human sacrifice at CERN.” Note how this was performed in front of a statue of Shiva the destroyer. There is a statue of Shiva the destroyer at CERN. I remember the Satanic panic of the 90s and how everyone was terrified of Dungeons and Dragons and Heavy Metal music. But CERN does this shit and it gets barely 48 hours of media play. I love the “analysis” that concludes the video is staged. Of course it’s fucking staged! That’s what a ritual is! That is exactly how you generate an effect from a ritual. The filming of this, the release, the subsequent debunkings. That’s the ritual.

#5: Make up your own mind but remember when CERN did this?

#6:  John Brandenburg was on Skeptiko: This one’s for the hosts in the hopes they’ll get this guy on. Brandendurg is a plasma physicist who discovered extremely convincing evidence of an artificial nuclear explosion on Mars. You want to know about this, it’s a big one.

#7: Kurt Vonnegut on the shape of stories. You don’t need a hint for this one I’m sure.

#8: A short documentary about the Ponte Tower. Rebuilt from rubble.

#9: Wrest control of your thoughts. All the way.

#10: This Rubin Report on “persuasion” in politics (ie. mind control) is pretty bang on:

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There’s a lot of discussion about magic, how it works, and how to work it. In numerology, 7 is the number of luck, talents, intuition, and manifestation. Seven is the cutting edge, the ever present now, expanding, constricting, dividing, and multiplying as we move into the next moment.

Magic is how the universe operates. We do not get to know it all, but only a piece. Our consciousness is always one less (6 is the number of consciousness). It does not matter if we do not understand how the world works, and our weak, insistent arguments can not nudge, influence, or hijack what is possible. The true operation of magic is aligning ourselves with the true work of the world, instinctually, subconsciously, and consciously.

But if we can only manipulate the conscious mind, how are we to tune our instincts and our subconscious? How do we influence that which we cannot access? What if I told you we can access our instincts, and our subconscious?

The heart is the seat of our instincts. Our emotions let us know when our spirit is lacking. Fear in its many forms empties us and saps our instincts. Love in all its forms fuels our heart, and makes it lighter than the proverbial feather. When our heart is light, the proper course opens of its own accord. It is an obvious path if we are in balance.

The belly is the seat of our subconscious. There is increasing science to support a direct line between the gut and brain. We have “gut reactions” and often “go with our gut” about certain things. But our subconscious is only as healthy as our appetites. The world is here for our pleasure, as God made it pleasing to us. But we should not overdo it. If our virtue becomes vice, we will destroy ourselves by becoming slave to the material body and its insatiable wants.

Finally, there is the mind, the conscious mirror of symbol and glyph. Our words and thoughts cascade like a river over rock, and we easily confuse this unending rush with the world as it is. If we think a thing hard enough, can we make it so? But the world is not so easily manipulated.

The key is balance. We seek to balance the hope of the heart, the precision of the mind, and the appetites of the body. If we want to live full and interesting lives, we will need all three aspects of our selves. The universe does not expand with ever increasing complexity so we can ignore one part or another.

The relationship between the holy trinity and the cutting chevron is emblematic of sex magic with the active seven serving the role of the phallus, and the near circle of three serving as the yoni. Our balance must accept the honest state of the world. Although we are also magic, we are small compared to the unending string of stars and galaxies. We should not put ourselves above our true station.

Magic is more than we will ever know, but magic always works, hence why we practice. Practice what works and practice your magic. If we put ourselves in balance, we can access it with greater ease and to better ends. Yes, there is black magic, in which we occult our small discoveries, and hoard our base understandings. Dark magic lords its slight advantages against others. But dark magic is always a small thing compared to light. Dark magic is a groping and selfish endeavor, mistaking the elephant in the room for a mere rope, a tree, or a serpent.

Light magic is revealing and explosive. Light serves the senses, and thus makes sense. Not only do we see the elephant, but the world in which it stalks. Dark magic is forever fading, as the devil quotes scripture better than all the others. But the devil does not understand the words, as he trips on his own lies. White magic forgives us of our unending imperfection. White magic is maximizing our strengths to minimize our weaknesses. The world isn’t meant to be perfect. It is simply meant to be balanced, and that balance must be our own. We can practice our balance, and learn to stand, walk and run; or we can lie, cheat, and steal, and put off our balance for another day. But do not fool yourself. The universe will have her due, in this life or the next. Live in the light or die in the dark. The choice is yours, magician.

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Racism and bigotry has come full circle. No matter who you are, there is a group to hate. Don’t like darkies? That’s a classic. But if you’re into hating your elders, whites, or males, your time has come! No longer is the bottom rung only for minorities or females! Progress has put us all on the bottom! Want to hate on the children? Millennials are lazy! Want to hate on your parents? Old people are senile and crazy! Want to hate on the rich? Robber barons! The poor? Also lazy, those ingrates! Want to hate on anyone with a different skin tone, language, class, caste, religion, nationality, or profession? Your time is now! We hate them all! Especially you, fucking calicos!

Some people notice the increasingly harsh tone coming from all sides. They warn it’s a divide and conquer strategy. Divide the commoners against each other in order to control them. Of course, this can only be the case if there is a bold conspiracy to control us all… Or might it be that we are simply a chaotic race in which parasites abound? Frauds, gangsters, murderers… Our chaos is their order. We lose our humanity to gain a profit, and the people become all the more poor.

We are poor. We are poor of spirit and poor of materials. We are poor of understanding and poor of health. Confusion reigns. Life is hard on all of us. Yet, we all seek profit instead of prophet. What is the difference? Profit is the money in my pocket, debt paper demanding the chattel of the future pay for here and now. Enslave them before they are born! It is the small heart of the cruel man taking and taking, but never giving. The profit is individual. For these people, bigotry is nothing personal. It is sound business. We hate ’em all, even our own, and we profit.

What we need is prophet. We need people that add to others as well as themselves. We need innovators, researchers, and entrepreneurs seeking the good of the win-win solution. Our problem isn’t actually racism, as most of us are quite accepting of others. That is only the divide and conquer strategy of those that would have us look the wrong way. Our problem is poverty. Our problem is that we are convinced we are morally bankrupt as well as physically.

Our answer is true wealth: a wealth of good information, of proper action, and kind participation. Leave the small minds to debate small topics, and go about your own business. Stick to what works. Reform yourself and lead by example. Don’t bother with permission. The ones granting permission don’t have your interest at heart, only your control. Somehow the lunatics have taken control of the asylum. But I will live in an asylum no more. I’d rather beg forgiveness than ask permission. So I work hard, and when I can’t take anymore, I socialize and play among my friends. Just having friends proves I’m a good person. Cheats, thieves, and charlatans only have marks. When they look about the world, they see only victims and fellow perpetrators.

We don’t have to involve ourselves in the hate and bigotry so often fed to us. It is our choice. Do we want to concentrate on all the terrible things done to us, and by us? Let justice claim us all. We will all be blind by the end of the day. Or shall we allow mercy to tug our hearts, and remind us that despite our faults we have many triumphs and many virtues? Forget the ongoing battles between this and that group, offering only hate and violence as a solution. Focus on your values. Focus on the valuable. Focus on the good you can do for yourself, for your friends, and for the world at large. If the haters come at you, keep to your business, or tell them what you think. If they try to take by force and come at you with violence, hit ’em in the mouth and defend what is yours. That is your right.

We are victims none or victims all. Give good to the world, or get what you get. There is no taking without giving. If you refuse to give, know that nature will eventually take you. We all end up in the grave, even those that live to be 103 and steal their whole lives. The question is what we will be between now and then. Personally, I like the give and take. I give that others might take, and take that others might give. In the end, I only hope to add some wonder, some thought, and some goodness to my kind. We need a world of prophets, a world of tihinkers, seers, and doers. We don’t need to suffer the lies and deceptions of the devilish few. This is our world as much or more than it is theirs. We can answer with kindness, love, and hope, or we can be caught up in the violence, fear, and hate, and see ourselves washed from the world. The choice is ours. The choice is yours.

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Interview Starts 47:20 Wal Thornhill joins us for this special episode, co-hosted by one of our listeners Nickie Benefield. Was Thornhill, is an author, one of the earlier Electric Universe proponents and founder of the website The locals in Auzi call him The Boundary Rider of Science…. Wal contributes to the sister site, a wealth of scientific information and has been keynote speaker at the Electric Universe conferences since 2012. We have a great chat about all things electric and some of the EU theories and how they differ from the dogmatic mainstream narrative. Most of our chat is about cosmology, the solar system, electromagnetism, etc, but it also crosses over into consciousness, biology and inherited memories. Everything is electric and we are all connected.   At the start of show we overview the holoscience and thunderbolts website and the genesis of the contemporary Electric Universe.  How the 19th century had it right and the 20th century fucked it up, Velikovsky vs. Newton, and how Wal was inspired by learning the history of our solar system.   53:00- How Wal and David Talbot, and the first conference in recent history   59:00 – The end of ancient man, doomsday and the trauma left over from our roots. Who the 2nd Galileo will end up being and how the big bang will end up being a farce.   1:07:00 – The collision in our solar system, Mars, Venus and the possible new history of mankind. Could the new alignment be the missing link?    1:15:00 – Dark energy, dark matter, and fudging the numbers to keep the current paradigm afloat.   1:27:00 – More on recent history of the solar system, and the last capture.   1:47:00 – Outer planets as brown dwarfs and what the sun is for reals….   2:02:00 – Life around saturn, the gas giants and the icy watery moons.    2:17:00 – The best evidence and the best argument for EU and what is the biggest issue the mainstream has with EU.   From the smallest particle to the largest galactic formation, a web of electrical circuitry connects and unifies all of nature, organizing galaxies, energizing stars, giving birth to planets and, on our own world, controlling weather and animating biological organisms. There are no isolated islands in an electric universe. ~David Talbott and Wallace Thornhill, Thunderbolts of the Gods   Intro: Nickie Benefield won the recent “Grimerica Upgrades” fundraiser program and he chose to have Wal Thornhill (been on the top of our wish list for a long time!) on the show, so Nickie joins us for this intro as well. Thank you to all who contributed in helping us get our new recording computer. Really appreciate the support! Nickie and the guys chat about working out, diet, ketosis, sugar and carb cravings as well as some of the upcoming interview on Electric Universe theory. Also, thanks to our recent bloggers, and make sure you check out our link for how to get some Grimerica swag.   Please see all the links below for stuff we chatted about during the show and the intro: The Immanuel Velikovsky Archive star series by Cardona growing planet theory Neal Adams episode Rupert Sheldrake episode left and right brain stuff Halton Arp, astronomer challenging big bang Atlas of Peculiar Galaxies Wal Thornhill in Adelaide, Aus   Please Help support the show. Grimerica’s Honey DoBeDoBeDo List: !! – Grimerica is fully and solely listener supported. We adhere to the Value for Value model.  0 ads, 0 sponsorships, 0 breaks, 0 portals and links to corporate websites… just many hours of unlimited content for free. Thanks for listening!!   Leave a Voicemail Leave a review on iTunes and/or Stitcher    Sign up for our newsletter

Leave a comment, ideas and guest/topic suggestions under any episode or blog  

SPAM Graham = and send him your synchronicities, feedback, strange experiences and psychedelic trip reports!! InstaGRAM    Tweet Darren   Purchase swag, with partial proceeds donated to the show Send us a postcard or letter

Thanks to Wayne Darnell for help with the website. link to Napolean Dehume’s site   MUSIC  Grimerica Theme – Lock & Key Symbolic – Insidious ThunderTrance – Astes (ThunderStruck Remix)

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One down. Nine to go.

One down. Four to go.


This article will sort of close out this general opening arc of Grimerica articles I’m writing. To catch up, here’s part 1 and part 2. After this we’ll move on to topics that are slightly more… anchored. I’ll have a hard time prying myself away from this personal requirement to demystify God. Apophatic theology will likely stay with me for a long time. Something in this story needs a resolution and i’ll be damned if I don’t give it my best shot to write at least a good couple of chapters. I’m a 15 year old boy with a newly acquired B-B gun or bow and arrow. I recently shot my first animal and poking the corpse in proud and curious horror it got up and poked back. My experience in this life taught me an important lesson. Suspect he who removes your options. This is not true love. And I seek to give and receive nothing if not love.


There is all this talk of evidence in the atmosphere but I’ve found myself in certain moments relying on instinct. This bore out a decade or two later. I’ve had holy and beautiful things weaponized against me and those I love. Large portions of my life have been nothing but secret scheming for escape. As a result, in some moments everything feels so God-damned important. The stakes feel high. There’s an eat the food or be the food kind of vibe to this thing.

My heart aches for battle. Maybe taking it seriously is the punchline. I’m reminded that the elephant fears the rodent. Goliath falls before David. The tower does not reach the heavens. I’m small so going in I confidently hope that the invisible swarm is there*. But there’s an outside chance it may not be. I’ve tried blind faith a few times before and it’s a gamble that pays off big or wipes you clean. Even knowing the house can lose, I no longer need to borrow to bet it all on a 50/50. You got to know when to walk away.

I guess I’m in resource grind mode. I’m gonna be doing side quests for a while. Clear this dungeon, find a nugget of wisdom. Slay a giant, gain influence. Help a villager find his cow, blessing of the gods. The game is rich enough to shelve the main quest. The landscapes are beautiful. That’s a pretty good place to be all things considered. But…

-save game-

I like taking a whack at the big boss in my spare time. I mean, if I lose I’m still around. If I win, the boss stays dead. Probably. You can’t win if you don’t play.

So here I go: If I die biting off God’s finger, I will have feasted well. Here are my best pebbles. May the monomyth watch over me.

Fus Ro Dah!

Fus Ro Dah!


Opening query

What is the mechanic of a god? How does anything work? What are the basic functions? Taking my cue from the axiom as above so below, I see a few patterns that may or may not hint at a deep structure.


Stars need gas, planets need momentum, animals need water and air and food. What fuels a god? What is the one thing gods seek? Worship. Focused attention. The more focused the attention, the more refined the fuel, the more powerful the god. This should give you a hint as to what mono-theism is all about.

Memory erasure is the only true death. Big gods get very hungry. They need lots of fuel. They might even become predators in their survival scramble. At this point you should start noticing that anything which uses attention as fuel is a god. This places power in your court. You can kill your gods by denying them their food source. Just focus your attention elsewhere. Your power is yours to give – I’m not pointing fingers by the way. I am you and you are me, goo-goo-g’jube. Don’t think of a pink elephant. Oops! There you go creating gods again! This power can cripple. Why this god-trap? Of course, you can focus on your Self and be internally fueled. A self-cannibalizing deity. This is the apex of inertia. Such power! The immovable object. Such non-ness! Your call. It’s not the tone I’m looking for. I seek movement.



A Rhyzomic relationship. How about being a god who worships? What changes do you want to see? Worship fellow gods who can craft. What kinds of fuel propels you? The answer to this question is the key to being worthy of your allies. The key to this practice is belief in all gods. But the trinity godhead of materialism, empiricism and reductionism have recently come to demand exclusive devotion. These gods have not come to terms with their mortality. They grasp and grab and hoard. Divine capitalism. Become your own god and you will be a liberated worshiper, prostrating yourself only before those deserving of your worship. It’s about dignity. Become what you forgot you’d set out to be.

Fear and Faith

“The only clear view is from atop the mountain of your dead selves.” – Peter J. Carroll

I confidently assert that deities fear you. Long have you been their death god. Kill your gods, make your gods, be your gods. You’ll have to play with the levels until you get the tone you want. Tweaking is part of the fun. The sweet spot moves. Responsiveness isn’t combat, it’s conversation. This is the magician’s transgression after all. To set one’s hands on the holy dials.

*zoom out to a collective frame* I think we’re all adjusting to a recently expanded perspective. We chased immortality so long but instead it caught us. This memory has us reeling a little bit. Like the student who can finally beat his master. The battle becomes the decision to pull the trigger. You are your own master. Love your self enough to transform.

Hungry gods competing for fuel cause wars. Lack is a murderer. Your fear of death could spark a war.

A human is a god’s way of becoming other gods.



The bigger the animal, the more it feeds. Gods are not so limited by dimension like animals, or planets. What are a god’s limitations? What is a god’s natural habitat? Mind. Does your mind have a limit? You may have to parse mental real estate. To quote Lon Milo Duquette: “It’s all in your head… you just have no idea how big your head is.”

Thus you are the God of gods. The other gods fear or revere you. They may bluff otherwise. Don’t be an ass about it. Share. Co-create. Collaborate. Other people have power over your godhood. Your friends are your elders. You are your own master.



You live in an aeon where gods are being created by the truckload. Stay focused. There’s a lot of competition and the gods lost the habit of experimentation. Everyone’s being put through the ringer a little bit. Foragers are becoming gatherers and gatherers, predators. It’s a divine jungle out there. Be kind and carry a stick.

Finger Food for Thought

Who is your creator? Who is God? Be realistic. You got to know when to hold ’em.


See how they run like pigs from a gun!

See how they run like pigs from a gun!

Statement of Intent

Saint Terrence often said: “Find the others.” Well here you are! Goo-goo-g’jube. The beast may rise at our poking but it is wounded. The work is nearly done. Our horror must be tempered by the memory of the children this monster eats.

This is what I write on the wall. May they who fear us, fear us further still! We are witness to your weeping wound and worship it that it may grow and be your death. This is true love.

Read my words demon king! With this finger I declare:

Mene: God has numbered the days of your reign and brought it to an end.

Tekel: You have been weighed on the scales and found wanting.

Peres: Your kingdom is divided.

Now for some sweet side quests.


*See: Madman’s guide Vol 1. Issue 2.

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I have a real issue with the ongoing battle between religion and science. First, let me say I think many of our religions are cheap, bastardized versions of honest spirituality, just as I think many of our sciences fly off into unsubstantiated delusions of grandeur. Rubbish on both sides, I say. Rubbish, rubbish, rubbish!

That said, there are a lot of babies in the bath water, and I care to keep them, so let me get very specific. In fact, let me be downright simplistic.

Religion is about belief. Whatever you believe is your religion, because it binds your actions. If it does not bind your action, then it is not something you truly believe, it is simply something you give lip service.

Often people confuse their beliefs with the various orthodoxies of some sect, or church, or organization… Fine. But true religion is the beliefs that influence your actions. When push comes to shove and the world forces you to act, this is why. Religion is meaning. Why do you think what you think? Why do you say what you say? Why do you do what you do? We all have different beliefs, as we should. We’ve lived different lives and value different things. Because of this, religion is very individual.

On the other side, science is about physical process. Science is our understanding of how the material world works. We do things according to a methodology, because following a specific process gives us a specific result. Science is a matter of manipulation. We have schematics, blueprints, recipes, and if we follow them, we make the things we intend to make. Science is very communal because the process that built your house, made your clothes, and grew your food, will also do the same for me. What works for one works for all.

Science answers how. Religion questions why. Science gives us easier lives, but religion gives our lives meaning. It isn’t science versus religion. Its a balance between the approximation of religion and the specificity of science. Bad religion leads to lies. Bad science leads to failure. Considering that there are all sorts of failures and lies in the world, we can conclude that there is also a lot of bad science and bad religion in the world.

Sometimes opposites have one desirable pole and one undesirable pole: love and fear, good and bad, abundance and scarcity. We should cling to one, and avoid the other. But sometimes both opposites are beneficial: energy and matter, innocence and experience, justice and mercy, day and night. male and female. To me, it makes sense to utilize both religion and science, instead of pitting them in an endless war. One is not better than the other.

Religion is based on belief. I don’t know, I believe. Science knows because I’ve done the experiments and studied the results. Between the two, science is more desirable, because it is more certain, but it is also more work. Religion is cheaper and quicker, but less reliable.

Here’s the crux of the problem: although I know many things, I’ll never know it all. If I want to proceed, there will be times when I have to follow my belief. There will be times when I do not know, and thus, science is out the window. Religion is a bit of a crutch. I use it when I don’t know, and it helps me know, because believing in a thing is necessary if I wish to test it.

Perhaps an example is in order. I hate to do this to you, but we’re going to bring math into this… I promise it won’t hurt, much.

Science tells us that the ratio of pi is 1 to 3.14159265358979… and there goes my science. Did you see how quickly it faded? Fifteen digits and I’m done. It matters because science is about precision. Science is about accuracy. But if I need to know pi, I’ve failed miserably. Fifteen digits of an infinite number is an astonishing failure.

So I let religion take over. I believe that fifteen digits is far more than I’ll ever need to know. In fact, I bet half the time I can get away with nothing more than the first digit. Why? Because the ratio of 1 to 3 is over 95% accurate when calculating pi. Do I think I can get away with being 95% accurate? Damn straight!

The other half of the time, I’ll need to know the equivalent of 3.1 or maybe 3.14159 or even 3.141592653589 of my pi shaped problem. I bet there will even be a few times I need to know more than I actually do know, and in those circumstances, I try to balance my knowledge with a bit of belief at the end, because that is all I can do. I’ll never know it all.

Sometimes, I simply fail. I won’t pretend otherwise. But if it matters to me, I can always gather more information and come back to it. There is always a second chance. Usually there are third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh chances… If you believe in reincarnation, the number of chances is just a bit below infinite.

Life is a math problem. It’s a continual math problem with sums, products, divisions and multiplications that we understand intuitively. These values have different names, involving money, relationships, prestige, integrity, emotions, and all sorts of other things. Some of these things we care about dearly, and some not so much, because we are individuals, and different things matter to each of us. The problem is that the math is more than we will ever know. Despite the grand achievements and back patting of our species, we can’t even solve pi. How can we possibly solve the bigger issues if we can’t even describe a circle? Thus, we will always need some belief.

We constantly balance our decisions between our knowledge and belief, our science and religion. Both have their strengths and both have their faults. If science is impossible, religion is naive. If we simply believe, we become creatures of convenience. When we ignore the knowledge bestowed by the great universe, we suffer ignorance, and find that three is not enough to solve our pi shaped problems. The universe wants us to learn. It wants us to be precise, but it also demands that we stay humble. No matter how much of our belief is tested and tempered and struck into solid science, we are not to pretend we know it all.

Some of you may think I’m wrong. You may think you know more, you may think you know it all. If you think you might be in danger of knowing it all, take this impossible test:

What is the license plate number on the author’s car?
What is the original word count of this article?
When was the second time you ever went to the post office (date and time)?
How much rain fell in the Pacific Ocean yesterday (in quarts)?
What are the middle names of your second cousins?

Humbled? Me too, and I got the first one right. Okay, so here’s one more question that might make you feel better about not knowing everything:

Can you imagine a life and death situation in which you need to know the precise answer to any of the above questions?

Yeah, me neither.

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interview Starts 53:55 Ralph ‘Ra’ Anthony Castaldo joins us for a chat about Italian Strega/Witchcraft, the secrets of Lake Nemi, how to perform your own past life recall, and the mystery of ancient red haired giants. Ra is a retired Muay Thai fighter, mystic, aura healer, songwriter/artist, and radio host.   We also chat about his strange experiences that include a MILAB, NDE, prophetic dreams, and his hereditary Strega just to name a few. Ra, just started a show on the Para X radio network called Spiral Radio….   In the intro James Nation joins Darren and Graham for a funny chat about weather modification, skydiving and wing suit flying. Graham shares a couple of mini synchro’s of his own and some listener feedback.    See the attached links for stuff we chatted about during the show and the intro:  Weather Modification Act answer to fake clouds falling from sky? Wingsuit flying Donny Darko Stranger Things Please Help support the show. Grimerica’s Honey DoBeDoBeDo List: !! – Grimerica is fully and solely listener supported. We adhere to the Value for Value model.  0 ads, 0 sponsorships, 0 breaks, 0 portals and links to corporate websites… just many hours of unlimited content for free. Thanks for listening!! Leave a review on iTunes and/or Stitcher    Sign up for our newsletter

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SPAM Graham = and send him your synchronicities, feedback, strange experiences and psychedelic trip reports!! InstaGRAM    Tweet Darren

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Thanks to Wayne Darnell for help with the website. link to Napolean Dehume’s site   MUSIC  Grimerica Theme – Lock & Key OKT7 – Marcello Strega Do You Call My Name – Ra

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Let me hear your body talk!

Let me hear your bible talk!

“I’ve been patient, I’ve been good.

Tried to keep my hands on the table.
It’s gettin’ hard this holdin’ back.
If you know what I mean.” – Olivia Newton John


I may write a how-to book on weaponizing the Bible someday. Hint: it’s about selectivity.

BIBLE?! I know, this is a touchy subject in conspiracy/occult circles. We’ve encountered our fair share of Bible thumpers who connect everything back to their bias – *cough* reality tunnels *cough*. But what they’re right about is that Christianity is too big to ignore. Us weirdos would do well to carefully consider the Genesis narrative.

Prometheus sharing the fire of the gods

Prometheus says “share dammit!”

Arguably, this society in which we live has been shaped by no greater force than the mytheme contained in this ever so looming of stories. If you live in North America or Europe, maybe Australia and you haven’t read Genesis chapter 3 yet, go here now and read it, this blog post will make more sense (probably).

An often misquote of Voltaire’s goes as follows: To determine the true rulers of any society, all you must do is ask yourself this question: Who is it that I am not permitted to criticize?” It is not a Voltaire quote actually but it’s still a very reliable piece of advice. Just change “rulers” for whatever forces ail you and you got yourself a usable radar warning system, practical for everyday life. Insert word of warning regarding dual-edged swords here: _____________.

What’s cool about turning ideas into tools is their versatile applicability. Now you can aim your bullshit detector at ideologies. Within the “Original Sin” narrative, the YHVH God’s boundaries are not to be crossed – He says “thou shalt not”, like, a shit-ton of times. I’d love to say I think this is a big cosmic tease. “Tut, tut, only when I say so. You’ve been a bad boy!” But there is sadly no sexiness to be found here. Unless you are brave enough to put some in there (my twitter handle is at the bottom of this article *winky face emoji*). In our society, until very recently, we were not to question God’s goodness. Thankfully we’re mostly over that. But we still live in a “thou shalt not” culture though. God has new secret names and and a litany of unspoken new commandments.

It’s even worse now. I can barely decide what I’m supposed to rebel against from the overwhelming amount of options. But there is no escaping the totalitarian mouthfeel of society. The picture is bleak but hope is found where the fearful do not tolerate dissent. A bee does not present a challenge to your power. But a swarm of bees does. You fear the bee only for it’s potential swarm-ness. Note the consequence, the word of warning that God gives to his Son: “He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.” There is something about godhood that makes you want to not share the wealth. What is that? I guess this is why the first domino is defended so aggressively. In the western cultural myth-consciousness, Satan* nudges the first domino.

His pivotal contribution in this important myth is to ask a doubt-sowing question. “Is it really so?”, you get to answer. The Christians vilified this act, the greeks deified it. Both mythified it. Historically, there does indeed always seem a necessity to address the ubiquitous nature of doubt. I don’t know about you but my nether regions indicate this is a far sexier approach to life. All that unresolved tension? *bites lower lip*.


“I’m sure you’ll understand my point of view.
We know each other mentally.
You gotta know that you’re bringin’ out.
The animal in me.”


vandergoes temptation of Eve

Depicted: the kinky origin of western thought

You see the real sin wasn’t biting into the juicy fruit and delecting in the moist deliciousness within. That was merely the explicit taboo, the decoy rule to distract from the real taboo. No, the implied sin was to question God. The concept of taboo-breaking as a tool for enlightenment is not uncommon. It just gets called different things. So then, Satan occupies the position of sinful doubt in the Judeo-Christian paradigm. To westerners**, doubt is the devil! In general we are obsessed with certainty. We demand proof. Politicians who don’t profess having all the solutions will not get elected. I don’t think Trump has ever said “I don’t know”. We just fucking love absolutes, don’t we? Somewhere deep down we still yearn for God’s stern daddy-ness. But the devil dares point out the chink in official reality. The message here is that we may actually not know. I think that’s what we’re all here for in our own way. Grimerica as a hedonistic rave. We’re celebrating the crumbling of sanctioned thought, our liberated naked minds writhing up against one another revelling in incertitude.

Note that doubt has no fixed moral position other than an adversarial one. Certainty transcends duality, for without doubt singularity is achieved. All is homogenized, United in the worship of Do-As-I-Say-And-Think-As-I-Think. It is doubt which generates the seemingly paradoxical experience of duality. Multiplicity is fueled only by doubt. Doubt may as well be a synonym for division. Chaos magic thrives on this. “Nothing/everything is true, everything is permitted”. Or as Austin Osman Spare so bluntly put it: “Does not matter, need not be.” Doubt has no ideological preference. Doubt indiscriminately haunts any who dare choose to think. It simply opposes and opens.

If you assume memes to be Arbitrary Units of sentience and follow that thought down the rabbit hole, you’ll begin to notice how ideologies are essentially constructs designed to fend off variations of the memetic arch-virus of doubt. All ideologies are plagued by doubt and must constantly create new memetic anti-bodies to fend it off. Or, in the case of cults, cut off as much contact to outside ideas in an effort to prevent infection. Enter cognitive dissonance.

Sorry to bear the good news, doubt is built-in. We are born into an uncertain world. Or as the christians would say: we are born in sin and the whole world lieth in wickedness”. Indeed the devil dwells within. People leave cults and change religion or become atheists. And even those cocky-as-fuck materialists despite having consensus on their side must contend with doubt or become an embarrassment to themselves.




Reality modelling equals reality truncation. How much deflation do I want in order to hit my favoured results target?

I move then that all ideologies/belief systems , once you get past the different names and flavours are invocations of doubt. Same goes for all scientific experiments (as if there’s a difference). They are fundamentally engines for the manufacture of doubt. Any hypothesis or conclusion is accompanied by it’s opposing view (this was explored in Vol. 1 Issue 1). Sure, it’s all wrapped up in a “pursuit of truth” cloak – remember the anti-bodies? But we’re all inescapably satanic in the end. Whirling certainty-annihilating vortices.

By its very nature, ignorance does not know its bounds.


“I’m saying all the things that I know you’ll like.
Making good conversation.
I gotta handle you just right.
You know what I mean.”


If it sounds to you like I’m advocating giving up on the Pursuit Of Truth (POT), you’re aim is good but the target moves. I have not abandoned the pursuit but I have surrendered any illusion of finding. The POT is a tool for self-betterment. Another way of challenging myself to be nicer to others. The POT reminds me I’m still in pursuit with no catch to show for it. So maybe I should not get on that horse, as high and mighty as it looks. Conversely, I don’t want to be one of those guys stuck in a state of permanent fascination. Reality is a multi-faceted gem, it’s easy to get lost in the shiny-ness. So I feel compelled to adopt beliefs to fuel myself from one phase of life to another. A landing pad between forays into doubt. Realizing it’s all bull shit will not stop me from looking into things. You know, just in case it isn’t all bull shit. But this implies I’m constantly burning my beliefs. Well, I’m up for nothing if not a belief burning party. The sweaty kind under the moonlight. Invite me!

I have no truth to truck but tools to trade. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

Terence McKenna encapsulated a lot of this amusingly in the following quote: “My technique is don’t believe anything. If you believe in something, you are automatically precluded from believing its opposite”. That sounds like a belief I’d enjoy burning. 



“I took you to an intimate restaurant.
Then to a suggestive movie.
There’s nothing left to talk about.
Unless it’s horizontally.”


I personally see no way past doubt except through death. Perhaps beyond there is certainty. So obviously in my day-to-day life, I have to find a way to integrate doubt. Otherwise I remain paralyzed by the overwhelming infinitude of possibility. As blissfully terrifying as that experience is, I still need to go to work, write a blog post, cook dinner. And I’d like to enjoy a board game with friends without the crippling existential tension thank you very much! I mean who doesn’t love sexual tension? But at some point you’ll go crazy if you never get to settle on anything. Drawing conclusions may be a failed endeavour but damn does it feel good! Plus, once you’ve settled into a belief system and you’re all comfy and groggy, that just means you get to do the nasty all over again.

So live or die I’m gonna try is what I’m saying. I’m not prepared to do nothing and wait for death on a gamble that it is a transcendent experience. Even if that’s a good gamble. Instead, I’m pussy-chasing reality. That’s more the kind of life I want. Wanna be each other’s wing-man?


“Let’s get animal, animal.
I wanna get animal.
Let’s get into animal.
Let’s get animal, animal.

Find me on twitter: @ulyssesnewcomb
Let me hear your body talk.”

*Perhaps not technically Satan. There is no direct link in the Bible drawn between the serpent in Eden and Satan who comes much later chronologically. But hermeneutically speaking, the two may as well be equivalent. That’s why I can liken Grimerica to the Holy Trinity and the Devil back to back.
**Allow me this broad brush for a moment as I paint the entire western demographic with a single stroke.

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