Category: A Madman’s Guide to Polite Society

Respect my hat of science!

Respect my hat of science!


Am I the only one here who thinks the concepts of burden of proof and evidence based beliefs are a control mechanism? Are we not at liberty to experience erroneousness? “Errors are portals to discovery”, probably said someone who is very wise. I wish to grant the entire spectrum of the human experience the dignity it has lost. By extension I wish you the liberty of erroneousness. I have made no ceremony about my approach to belief. I believe things, ultimately because I want to. My mind is not your lab. It’s mine if anyone’s.

Scientism is the (a?) new church. We are told by a scientific authority (hint a bachelor’s degree isn’t that hard to come by) who go on TV and tell us that our grandmother is crazy because she says she saw your Grandpa’s ghost. Doesn’t matter that Science-Guy doesn’t know anything about you or her, he’s wearing a bowtie and is on TV so stop thinking for yourself. “Science Rules!”, sure, or else!  It rules in much the same way the church did. Church’s are most fun when overthrown or occasionally burnt. Bring on the apocalypse.

I’ll just throw this out there, this whole science vs. a non-empirical movement through the world has something to do with sex. Actually I mean, in some way I can’t figure out let alone put into language, it is about sex and shame and repression.

Indefinability aside. This is not the kind of world I live in. Where questioning the prevailing viewpoint is met with derision. What is this where the people closest to you ought to be suspected of delusion when they commit the simple act of confirming 30 000 years (at minimum) of anecdotal evidence? Haven’t you had enough of this? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills over here!

If I was the kind of person willing to roll up his sleeves and fight fire with fire I’d write about the actual large body of evidence for PSI effects, OBE, NDE, Spirit contact and so forth. But you have access to all of that in your pocket (or probably in your hand right now). You could download origin of species to your phone and read it it all in one week’s commute to and from work. You could do the same with Plato’s works in a few months. You could also start reading scientific studies about scientific studies. Such as this one quite clearly pointing at a serious deficiency in scientific academia. 

And you have Alex Tsakiris and Gordon White and Rupert Sheldrake and Graham Hancock And John Anthony West – add to the list in the comments below – rogue researchers more experienced and knowledgeable than I. Proud iconoclasts, dignified reeds jutting from the murk gracefully breaking the torrential current.

My point is you don’t need my help.

You are already processing the repercussions following the fact that materialism is on it’s last leg and is running out of places to hide. You chuckle at the fiction that is the multiple worlds interpretation and string theory. You shake your head at how it has zero evidence supporting them after decades of getting kicked around at the highest echelons of the scientific magisterium. You observe how the materialist hijack of the atheist and skeptic movements has resulted in nothing but condescension and arrogance. You have rejected Neil deGrasse Tyson as your Pope. You actively rebel against the edict that your are a biological robot without free will. You have grown tired of the absurdity.

Me too. Here’s to the next thing – *clink* – Cheers!

To liberation!

To liberation!

I noticed this oppressive masculine, empirical archon even at the Seattle Esoteric Book Conference. Of all the places to be liberated from intellectual oppression, this is the place. I am abundantly grateful for the work of these adventurers. Richard Gavin, Louis Sahagan, Pam Grossman, Jason Louv, Brian Cotnoir, Daniel Schulke, Benjamin Vierling, Joseph Uccello, John Eric Graham. These people are brilliant and deserve to be listed. That said, it seems that at a certain level, in the business of launching ideas into the ether one must necessarily encounter the spirit of ridicule. Graham Hancock went on record saying he started writing fiction out of exhaustion. The process of armouring every single one of his findings with multiple footnotes knowing that the so-called “skeptics” would simply move the goal posts again and again; it’s got to wear you down.

I admire and respect those of us who choose to engage with the intellectually dishonest minions of materialism. I pledge them my support and to a significant degree, my loyalty. But it is not my calling

This is probably the reason why music is occupying an increasingly larger piece of my mental real estate. Language is a trap. Music is so immediate an experience of the strange and under some circumstances, it is the closest I’ve come to communing with God (call it the Other if you prefer). Music and probably all non-linguistic arts sit at the centre of direct being and forced apprehension. It is what happens when Dionysus fucks Appollo. And who wouldn’t want to be the third in that threesome?

Chords are my grimmoire. Melody is my incantation. Rhythm is my discipline. To be in the loudness is divine madness. It’s risking one’s sanity in an alchemical process. Soul being the shit from which golden riffs are extracted. The cow corpse from whence the golem is risen. In art, one can not demand evidence without encountering the maniacal mockery of the goddess. You will be disciplined! The empiricist dies at the ticket window. There is no denying dread and derangement after they’ve touched you with their own hands. I recommend Richard Gavin’s perspective on this: 

“Reducing the issue to fundamental principles, one may say that civilization is the product of masculine consciousness, the child of the left brain. It is the paragon of daylight and logic, of tidy order and the observable cause-and-effect phenomena that provide evidence for the physical sciences. In esoteric lore, the right hand is the active one. This is the current of solar-phallic activity, calculating and often utilitarian, which fostered the Enlightenment, the Industrial Revolution, economics, and politics. Whenever one hears a person (wether their physical gender is male or female is irrelevant) boasting about how they only believe in what they can see and touch, one is encountering an expression of masculine consicousness, the type that recognizes only the dayside of existence.

But alongside this there exists, of course, the required “opposite polarity” the feminine conscioussness. This is the realm of intuition, receptivity, and mythic dreaming; of night spirit, and the subconscious. This is the true wilderness where manifestation is spontaneous, the realm of the left (or “sinister”) hand, the great Darkness that is the source of the greatest of all energies: the mysterious.”

Dream is a good home for the individual choosing to darkly move through life. Dreamtime will dignify you (see paragraph 1). Embracing uncertainty will humanize you (see Madman’s Guide Vol. 1 Issue 2).


Not pictured, apotheosis.

Not pictured, apotheosis.


So in the spirit of dignity I humbly offer a dream I dreamed:

You see a thunderous vista through the windshield of the white 1988 Buick Century that you bought from your Dad. You park the car on the side of the road and do not bring the keys with you. You step out walking towards the hill’s crest. The heavens are alive and scream divinity as the bolts hit the earth with martial immediacy. A new constellation is birthed for your witnessing.

You are an awakened monkey reaching for his iphone. “I have to instagram this!” With the raising of your tricorder the day breaks and the world dissolves into mediocrity. The alarm rings, coffee, shower, shave, job.

You are not on call in dream. May you dream of freedom and never waken.

This concludes Madman’s Guide Vol. 2. Subsequent volumes and issues will be published sporadically as I focus on my musical endeavours and another writing project which you may hear about later in 2017. To keep in touch with me, find me on twitter: @ulyssesnewcomb.

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I do not like having to write this issue of Madman’ Guide. Hence the delay. I have barely proof read it. The best I can do is have it be out there to be looked at. I am putting some trust in you, I asking that you be on my side and forgive me a moment of mediocrity. For today is the scratch moon and I have a vessel to purify.


You will not be happy

You will not be happy


In 1978, I was born. In 1975, My parents converted to Jehovah’s Witness.

Usually when I reveal this to friends, they generally react with confusion, pity or recognition. I only ever reveal the second part of my personal mythos. The first part is either a complete fiction or an unprovable truth. Lets’ not get into it yet in the interest of sparing each other’s sanity.

Zooming back to our main point; I got set back a few decades from having been raised in a cult. And I learned some valuable lessons. How mind control works, how to use selectivity to weaponize ideas, how to tolerate social isolation. Also, it taught me the power of believing bullshit. I know most will see this as a bad thing but I see it as a tool.

I now have a keen awareness of an ideological attempt at mind control. I’ve become convinced that ideas are sentient. Some want to become beliefs that they may more firmly anchor themselves in the minds of they willing to propagate them. There is an ideological pandemic. From twitter trying to sell you Pepsi to that elderly woman who wants to give you a Falun Gong brochure. Your attention is desired (see Madman’s Guide Vol. 1 Issue 3).

The redeeming factor of the life I’ve lived is that escaping a cult, along with the alienation, disconnectedness and probably trauma I had to take with me, I also stole away with various useful tools. It was consciousness bootcamp. Without being taught I learned what I later read in Peter J. Carroll’s Liber Null: “Every new form of liberation is destined to eventually become another form of enslavement (…). There is no freedom from duality on this plane of existence, but one may at least aspire to choice of duality”.

God will kill you unless you smile

Smile or God will kill you

A mustard seed sized amount of bullshit will move a mountain. There are war fields filled with bones who will testify to this truth. The lives sacrificed at the altar of bullshit write a blood testament to the brute power of lying, to the unignorable violence of deception.

When I moved to Vancouver after a years long period of secret intuitive questioning, a key aspect of my experience was fear. When you are told for decades that leaving the inner sanctum of your religious family will result in terrible things happening, and then you leave, you have to be a tough son of a bitch to not give in to that fear. This is where the power of bullshit comes in handy. In looking back at my journals, I see how tumultuous my first year in Vancouver actually was. Lost jobs, financial pressure, culture shock and so forth. Just terror in general really. But my leading belief was “everything will be ok”. I sort of bought in to this notion that the universe is on my side, unconditionally (my favorite pronoiac would be proud). I now see this belief as a necessary tool to overcome great fear. I had to essentially stick my head in the sand so as to not slip into paralyzing self-doubt. You have to understand how hardcore of a cynic I was before all of this. So much so was I cynical that I fell into nihilistic depression. It almost killed me. I saw no hope anywhere. So for me to go from “nothing will be ok” to “everything will”, is a huge swing of the pendulum.

There is an in-between chapter here that is too fresh to unpack in a way I can write about. Though I already have.  So I need to jump cut.

Burn. Always burn.

Burn. Always burn.

I’ve come out the other side of this not believing “everything will be ok” but rather that “I can/will make things ok” and more recently I’ve kind of let go of even that and just allowed myself the dignity of playing in the sandbox of now. I must have learned that whatever belief I may have now is under constant threat of being revealed as total bullshit. I get to decide to keep believing for the sake of usefulness, or set fire to my reality. There is power in disrespecting one’s own worldview. It depends on my aims. This tattoo on my shoulder binds me to constant movement. Believe a thing, burn it, believe another thing, burn it. I live in that church and I worship the fire consuming it.

Any perspective we have says more about ourselves and our aspirations than it does reality itself. Leading me to think that moving from an “everything will be ok” mindset to a “I can/will make things ok” paradigm means I am transforming out of blind faith in Other, into self-confidence in my Self. I estimate this to be a milestone step towards self-actualization.

Something my parents can’t grasp is that belief is informed by experience. At first. Then your experience becomes caused by belief. They’ve painted themselves into a corner with extremely limiting beliefs. Dark magic indeed. It’s that whole Will and Perception thing that you read about in Liber Null. Chicken and the egg.

Oh bullshit, you dual-edged sword you!

I’ve mentioned this before in passing but I’d like to elaborate a little here. I am aware that this all probably sounds cynical. Nothing is true, hold on to nothing, everything burns. Gee that guy must be depressed! It seems that it is only in art that I can express the aliveness of my experience of void. If I really was a giving up on everything, I would not be constructing world views at all. Yet I’m here. I don’t doubt you’ve picked up on my curious nature. On my fighting instinct. I am interested in all the angles, I’ve given myself overwhelming options.

Everything is beautiful and moves.

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It slices! It dices!

It slices! It dices! It’s magic!

“Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it” – Roal Dahl

“The only dangerous thing about magic is that it works.” – Unknown


I’m not one to bury the lead. I believe in spirits. My relationship to belief creates context here and that will be a theme over my entire blogging arc here at Grimerica. So here’s the Cliff’s Notes version: I use belief as a tool. I don’t consider the truthiness of things I believe. I consider the beliefs’ effectiveness to effect the change I seek, and choose accordingly. Mostly, there are important exceptions, and that too will eventually feature in some articles.

There is however, a process of refinement. It’s not a dice game, it’s about playing your best hand to maximize your odds. +EV

Now let’s narrow it down, flesh out the model.

  • What’s a spirit?

This guy wrote my favorite definition of spirit here. It’s part of a series of articles called “Asatru for Atheists”. Essentially it defines spirit as an aggregate of qualities of a thing which may or may not be manifest in matter. Read this excerpt:

Let us take, for example, the spirit of a sword and examine what it is in terms of information. Obviously, it is a sword – but what is a sword, and how do we recognise such a thing? In our minds we generally have a list of possibilities, each characterised by a cluster of properties, which we compare to what we are looking at. For example, a sword is solid, can be large or small, is long and sharp (but not inevitably so), is usually made of metal, may have one or two sharpened edges, may be pointed etc. These things are, in essence, the ‘spirit’ of the generic sword.

That objects have spirits consisting of the characteristics that define them is a notion first expounded upon in detail by Plato, several thousand years ago. He posited a ‘Platonic Realm’ of ‘Ideal Forms’ of which our world was only an imperfect shadow. The notion of Platonic perfection is still present today in branches of modern physics – some highly speculative. I limit myself here to discussing the notion of ‘spirit’ in the context of information theory of contemporary science, but will return to it later.

We now know the ‘spirit of sword’. It is not much of a leap to extend the idea to encompass type and individuality, i.e. to imagine that a particular sword type might have a more highly defined spirit. In the case of a Viking sword, the attributes of ‘sword’ become more specific; namely its steel, its unique shape of blade, guard, pommel and decoration. One can further refine all this to the point where a particular Viking sword is recognised.

That’s pretty much it. A spirit is a bunch of things linked together that describe and/or make up another thing that is perceived (which, come to think of it, is a good description of just about everything). You’ve heard the story of the tribal leader talking about his knife. He explains how the knife has been in his family for centuries. They changed the handle a few times and the blade a few times. But it’s still the same knife. In greek philosophy, this paradox was known as Theseus’ paradox (link).

Now, if you allow for ideas, emotions, instincts to be things, then you start getting close to an inkling of my model of spirits. And you have to allow it because I can’t honestly say I’ve ever gotten results from invoking the spirit of an actual thing (some people apparently have). It has been much more effective (very effective I’d say) to invoke the spirit of ideas anchored to a thing representing them. At this point my soundbite definition of spirit seems in order: The exteriorization of the commonly interiorized. It’s clunky and incomplete. I might make an attempt at discussing the empirical evidence for the existence of independently sentient consciousness at some point but don’t hold your breath, it isn’t my specialization. For now the above model works as a stepping stone towards the description of what it is I experience.

Ball of war!

Ball of war!

  • How?

Good question. So let’s take for instance, the god Mars. Basically, Mars – other than being a floating ball in space, which is impressive enough – is an empty vortex for the aggregation of inter-related ideas, emotions and instincts too complex and fleeting to grasp in a simultaneous manner. Linearity need not apply. So though I suspect an invocation to Mars is simply a calling out of what is within, I “believe” the planet Mars is a spirit I can contact in a variety of ways so that I/it may enact change in my Self/my reality. Not because that this is more true but also not in spite of it being false. Rather, the belief of it being the calling upon something larger than me makes the invocation a more potent experience. The belief is the experience. Experience and belief, will and perception. There’s a neither/neither relationship there.

One way to describe the mechanism of magic, is to liken it to a binary system. A thing is in a state of on or off and I use magic to flip it to the other state. It is way more spectrum-y and unpredictable than that, but for the sake of functionality this description works – I invoke the spirit of truncation discussed in Madman’s guid Vol. 1 Issue 2. So in the case of Mars, let’s say I fear conflict and am incompetent at managing it but conflict is present. I invoke Mars to flip that around to graduate towards the relishing of conflict for the competent ending or resolving of it. When the result is obtained, I make a payment to suspend the operation. Or in the case of failure, go back to the drawing board.

If I were to approach this same problem in a common manner and actually spell out all the things I would need to do and think to achieve the same result I get from invoking Mars, I’d be here for 16 years (which is probably why works of fiction can have such major impact on the world). That’s the thing with symbols, they demarcate the limits of intellectual dissection and announce the beginning of mystery and assimilation.

The spirit of Mars is monumentally more nuanced and fluid than my linear mind can handle (another way to think of it is that invocation is the tapping into the genetic memory of my ancestors at some time doing a similar thing). So this becomes a pragmatic issue. Invocation is the most effective method for me to simultaneously apprehend and apply a vaguely defined set of multiple moving concepts, inter-connected in a super-complex manner. It’s not the front-of-mind thinking which has become so valued in modern society. It’s more something you turn on, aim and ignore. It can appear to be a passive thing in the day-to-day working of it actually.

TuningFork copy


Wait there’s more! You see, because this invocation stuff has a lot of history and a built-up egregore in constant movement, I can’t just dive in an invocation and expect my mind will tune into the Mars spirit. The egregore is a large part of this spirit, and so to use it is to tweak that invocation dial closer to the frequency I need. Trust me, I tried burning a dollar store incense stick and waving a steak knife over a tea light in the hopes Mars would respond. It was pretty much the most impotent thing I’ve ever attempted. But then I read some books. I found out which plants are under which planet, studied planetary associations. How the Greeks did their thing, the Egyptians. What, in legend pleased Mars? Why? I make no claim to be an expert because I clearly am not one, but I am making a special effort to be honest. This is a process of gut feel and trial-and-error with an emphasis on the courage of admitting error and enduring trial. But, you see, with this time spent I’m more committed (Jason Miller would call this, investment in a “current”). So no matter how you look at it I think I’m in much better shape. If spirits are an interior thing made exterior, then it’s advantageous that my psyche be invested. If spirits really are exterior, I figure they’ll be more likely to pay attention to someone showing a real interest in them. I figure this because they have.

I see magic as a system for wrangling my Self into a more cohesive and deliberate whole. This necessitates that I wrench parts of me from their centre so that I may look at myself from different angles. If I hadn’t been born into a mind control situation with the spirit of God thrust upon me without my consent, I probably wouldn’t have reason to consider the state of my cognitive sovereignty. But I was and I do.

There’s probably more to spirits than this of course. When you start thinking that ideas are stored in matter (the brain) and muscles have memory, and that DNA is kind of like a book all of which can be accessed by a willing Self. It’s not much of stretch to think maybe other types of matter can store raw information that may be accessible via the stretching of psychic tendrils. And I’ve had my share of unusual experiences that would tip a less skeptical person in a direction I am not compelled to entertain. Call it suspicion of certainty.

Lately I’ve found myself crossing over into ambivalence about the reality of non-material sentience to an interest in the evidence. But the exactitude of all this is an ancillary concern of mine. I refuse to sell myself as a slave to empiricism. I’d rather try and relax into my worldview – so please please please, you are welcome to remind me to chill out about all this. I’ll be grateful. Figuring out what’s true is my hobby at best. Some people collect stamps. That’s at least as valid a pastime.

As the holy bard Terrence McKenna once said in response to the question “Is it the Truth?”

“Well, it’s true enough!”

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I’ve settled on a format for blogging at Grimerica. I will be writing volumes of 3 and possibly more articles. Each volume will be followed by a standalone post that will aggregate whatever I’ve been interested in lately in the form of videos mostly, but also factoids, podcasts, images and so forth. The goal of course is to post stuff that will intersect with Grimerican interests and possibly weave a vague theme with the differing elements.

Best of luck this weekend of the half moon. I am currently in Seattle for the Esoteric Book Conference. If you are also there, hit me up on twitter: @ulyssesnewcomb. Let’s grab a beer.

#1: So I recently learned that Samhain is pronounced “sow-in”. Like “sound” with a silent “d”. It is the time when the veil is the thinnest. Timing is everything, use this at your advantage. You are welcome.

#2: The sounds of space.

#3: A lot of predictive models both esoteric and not are predicting major changes this fall. See #1.

#4: “Mock human sacrifice at CERN.” Note how this was performed in front of a statue of Shiva the destroyer. There is a statue of Shiva the destroyer at CERN. I remember the Satanic panic of the 90s and how everyone was terrified of Dungeons and Dragons and Heavy Metal music. But CERN does this shit and it gets barely 48 hours of media play. I love the “analysis” that concludes the video is staged. Of course it’s fucking staged! That’s what a ritual is! That is exactly how you generate an effect from a ritual. The filming of this, the release, the subsequent debunkings. That’s the ritual.

#5: Make up your own mind but remember when CERN did this?

#6:  John Brandenburg was on Skeptiko: This one’s for the hosts in the hopes they’ll get this guy on. Brandendurg is a plasma physicist who discovered extremely convincing evidence of an artificial nuclear explosion on Mars. You want to know about this, it’s a big one.

#7: Kurt Vonnegut on the shape of stories. You don’t need a hint for this one I’m sure.

#8: A short documentary about the Ponte Tower. Rebuilt from rubble.

#9: Wrest control of your thoughts. All the way.

#10: This Rubin Report on “persuasion” in politics (ie. mind control) is pretty bang on:

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One down. Nine to go.

One down. Four to go.


This article will sort of close out this general opening arc of Grimerica articles I’m writing. To catch up, here’s part 1 and part 2. After this we’ll move on to topics that are slightly more… anchored. I’ll have a hard time prying myself away from this personal requirement to demystify God. Apophatic theology will likely stay with me for a long time. Something in this story needs a resolution and i’ll be damned if I don’t give it my best shot to write at least a good couple of chapters. I’m a 15 year old boy with a newly acquired B-B gun or bow and arrow. I recently shot my first animal and poking the corpse in proud and curious horror it got up and poked back. My experience in this life taught me an important lesson. Suspect he who removes your options. This is not true love. And I seek to give and receive nothing if not love.


There is all this talk of evidence in the atmosphere but I’ve found myself in certain moments relying on instinct. This bore out a decade or two later. I’ve had holy and beautiful things weaponized against me and those I love. Large portions of my life have been nothing but secret scheming for escape. As a result, in some moments everything feels so God-damned important. The stakes feel high. There’s an eat the food or be the food kind of vibe to this thing.

My heart aches for battle. Maybe taking it seriously is the punchline. I’m reminded that the elephant fears the rodent. Goliath falls before David. The tower does not reach the heavens. I’m small so going in I confidently hope that the invisible swarm is there*. But there’s an outside chance it may not be. I’ve tried blind faith a few times before and it’s a gamble that pays off big or wipes you clean. Even knowing the house can lose, I no longer need to borrow to bet it all on a 50/50. You got to know when to walk away.

I guess I’m in resource grind mode. I’m gonna be doing side quests for a while. Clear this dungeon, find a nugget of wisdom. Slay a giant, gain influence. Help a villager find his cow, blessing of the gods. The game is rich enough to shelve the main quest. The landscapes are beautiful. That’s a pretty good place to be all things considered. But…

-save game-

I like taking a whack at the big boss in my spare time. I mean, if I lose I’m still around. If I win, the boss stays dead. Probably. You can’t win if you don’t play.

So here I go: If I die biting off God’s finger, I will have feasted well. Here are my best pebbles. May the monomyth watch over me.

Fus Ro Dah!

Fus Ro Dah!


Opening query

What is the mechanic of a god? How does anything work? What are the basic functions? Taking my cue from the axiom as above so below, I see a few patterns that may or may not hint at a deep structure.


Stars need gas, planets need momentum, animals need water and air and food. What fuels a god? What is the one thing gods seek? Worship. Focused attention. The more focused the attention, the more refined the fuel, the more powerful the god. This should give you a hint as to what mono-theism is all about.

Memory erasure is the only true death. Big gods get very hungry. They need lots of fuel. They might even become predators in their survival scramble. At this point you should start noticing that anything which uses attention as fuel is a god. This places power in your court. You can kill your gods by denying them their food source. Just focus your attention elsewhere. Your power is yours to give – I’m not pointing fingers by the way. I am you and you are me, goo-goo-g’jube. Don’t think of a pink elephant. Oops! There you go creating gods again! This power can cripple. Why this god-trap? Of course, you can focus on your Self and be internally fueled. A self-cannibalizing deity. This is the apex of inertia. Such power! The immovable object. Such non-ness! Your call. It’s not the tone I’m looking for. I seek movement.



A Rhyzomic relationship. How about being a god who worships? What changes do you want to see? Worship fellow gods who can craft. What kinds of fuel propels you? The answer to this question is the key to being worthy of your allies. The key to this practice is belief in all gods. But the trinity godhead of materialism, empiricism and reductionism have recently come to demand exclusive devotion. These gods have not come to terms with their mortality. They grasp and grab and hoard. Divine capitalism. Become your own god and you will be a liberated worshiper, prostrating yourself only before those deserving of your worship. It’s about dignity. Become what you forgot you’d set out to be.

Fear and Faith

“The only clear view is from atop the mountain of your dead selves.” – Peter J. Carroll

I confidently assert that deities fear you. Long have you been their death god. Kill your gods, make your gods, be your gods. You’ll have to play with the levels until you get the tone you want. Tweaking is part of the fun. The sweet spot moves. Responsiveness isn’t combat, it’s conversation. This is the magician’s transgression after all. To set one’s hands on the holy dials.

*zoom out to a collective frame* I think we’re all adjusting to a recently expanded perspective. We chased immortality so long but instead it caught us. This memory has us reeling a little bit. Like the student who can finally beat his master. The battle becomes the decision to pull the trigger. You are your own master. Love your self enough to transform.

Hungry gods competing for fuel cause wars. Lack is a murderer. Your fear of death could spark a war.

A human is a god’s way of becoming other gods.



The bigger the animal, the more it feeds. Gods are not so limited by dimension like animals, or planets. What are a god’s limitations? What is a god’s natural habitat? Mind. Does your mind have a limit? You may have to parse mental real estate. To quote Lon Milo Duquette: “It’s all in your head… you just have no idea how big your head is.”

Thus you are the God of gods. The other gods fear or revere you. They may bluff otherwise. Don’t be an ass about it. Share. Co-create. Collaborate. Other people have power over your godhood. Your friends are your elders. You are your own master.



You live in an aeon where gods are being created by the truckload. Stay focused. There’s a lot of competition and the gods lost the habit of experimentation. Everyone’s being put through the ringer a little bit. Foragers are becoming gatherers and gatherers, predators. It’s a divine jungle out there. Be kind and carry a stick.

Finger Food for Thought

Who is your creator? Who is God? Be realistic. You got to know when to hold ’em.


See how they run like pigs from a gun!

See how they run like pigs from a gun!

Statement of Intent

Saint Terrence often said: “Find the others.” Well here you are! Goo-goo-g’jube. The beast may rise at our poking but it is wounded. The work is nearly done. Our horror must be tempered by the memory of the children this monster eats.

This is what I write on the wall. May they who fear us, fear us further still! We are witness to your weeping wound and worship it that it may grow and be your death. This is true love.

Read my words demon king! With this finger I declare:

Mene: God has numbered the days of your reign and brought it to an end.

Tekel: You have been weighed on the scales and found wanting.

Peres: Your kingdom is divided.

Now for some sweet side quests.


*See: Madman’s guide Vol 1. Issue 2.

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Let me hear your body talk!

Let me hear your bible talk!

“I’ve been patient, I’ve been good.

Tried to keep my hands on the table.
It’s gettin’ hard this holdin’ back.
If you know what I mean.” – Olivia Newton John


I may write a how-to book on weaponizing the Bible someday. Hint: it’s about selectivity.

BIBLE?! I know, this is a touchy subject in conspiracy/occult circles. We’ve encountered our fair share of Bible thumpers who connect everything back to their bias – *cough* reality tunnels *cough*. But what they’re right about is that Christianity is too big to ignore. Us weirdos would do well to carefully consider the Genesis narrative.

Prometheus sharing the fire of the gods

Prometheus says “share dammit!”

Arguably, this society in which we live has been shaped by no greater force than the mytheme contained in this ever so looming of stories. If you live in North America or Europe, maybe Australia and you haven’t read Genesis chapter 3 yet, go here now and read it, this blog post will make more sense (probably).

An often misquote of Voltaire’s goes as follows: To determine the true rulers of any society, all you must do is ask yourself this question: Who is it that I am not permitted to criticize?” It is not a Voltaire quote actually but it’s still a very reliable piece of advice. Just change “rulers” for whatever forces ail you and you got yourself a usable radar warning system, practical for everyday life. Insert word of warning regarding dual-edged swords here: _____________.

What’s cool about turning ideas into tools is their versatile applicability. Now you can aim your bullshit detector at ideologies. Within the “Original Sin” narrative, the YHVH God’s boundaries are not to be crossed – He says “thou shalt not”, like, a shit-ton of times. I’d love to say I think this is a big cosmic tease. “Tut, tut, only when I say so. You’ve been a bad boy!” But there is sadly no sexiness to be found here. Unless you are brave enough to put some in there (my twitter handle is at the bottom of this article *winky face emoji*). In our society, until very recently, we were not to question God’s goodness. Thankfully we’re mostly over that. But we still live in a “thou shalt not” culture though. God has new secret names and and a litany of unspoken new commandments.

It’s even worse now. I can barely decide what I’m supposed to rebel against from the overwhelming amount of options. But there is no escaping the totalitarian mouthfeel of society. The picture is bleak but hope is found where the fearful do not tolerate dissent. A bee does not present a challenge to your power. But a swarm of bees does. You fear the bee only for it’s potential swarm-ness. Note the consequence, the word of warning that God gives to his Son: “He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.” There is something about godhood that makes you want to not share the wealth. What is that? I guess this is why the first domino is defended so aggressively. In the western cultural myth-consciousness, Satan* nudges the first domino.

His pivotal contribution in this important myth is to ask a doubt-sowing question. “Is it really so?”, you get to answer. The Christians vilified this act, the greeks deified it. Both mythified it. Historically, there does indeed always seem a necessity to address the ubiquitous nature of doubt. I don’t know about you but my nether regions indicate this is a far sexier approach to life. All that unresolved tension? *bites lower lip*.


“I’m sure you’ll understand my point of view.
We know each other mentally.
You gotta know that you’re bringin’ out.
The animal in me.”


vandergoes temptation of Eve

Depicted: the kinky origin of western thought

You see the real sin wasn’t biting into the juicy fruit and delecting in the moist deliciousness within. That was merely the explicit taboo, the decoy rule to distract from the real taboo. No, the implied sin was to question God. The concept of taboo-breaking as a tool for enlightenment is not uncommon. It just gets called different things. So then, Satan occupies the position of sinful doubt in the Judeo-Christian paradigm. To westerners**, doubt is the devil! In general we are obsessed with certainty. We demand proof. Politicians who don’t profess having all the solutions will not get elected. I don’t think Trump has ever said “I don’t know”. We just fucking love absolutes, don’t we? Somewhere deep down we still yearn for God’s stern daddy-ness. But the devil dares point out the chink in official reality. The message here is that we may actually not know. I think that’s what we’re all here for in our own way. Grimerica as a hedonistic rave. We’re celebrating the crumbling of sanctioned thought, our liberated naked minds writhing up against one another revelling in incertitude.

Note that doubt has no fixed moral position other than an adversarial one. Certainty transcends duality, for without doubt singularity is achieved. All is homogenized, United in the worship of Do-As-I-Say-And-Think-As-I-Think. It is doubt which generates the seemingly paradoxical experience of duality. Multiplicity is fueled only by doubt. Doubt may as well be a synonym for division. Chaos magic thrives on this. “Nothing/everything is true, everything is permitted”. Or as Austin Osman Spare so bluntly put it: “Does not matter, need not be.” Doubt has no ideological preference. Doubt indiscriminately haunts any who dare choose to think. It simply opposes and opens.

If you assume memes to be Arbitrary Units of sentience and follow that thought down the rabbit hole, you’ll begin to notice how ideologies are essentially constructs designed to fend off variations of the memetic arch-virus of doubt. All ideologies are plagued by doubt and must constantly create new memetic anti-bodies to fend it off. Or, in the case of cults, cut off as much contact to outside ideas in an effort to prevent infection. Enter cognitive dissonance.

Sorry to bear the good news, doubt is built-in. We are born into an uncertain world. Or as the christians would say: we are born in sin and the whole world lieth in wickedness”. Indeed the devil dwells within. People leave cults and change religion or become atheists. And even those cocky-as-fuck materialists despite having consensus on their side must contend with doubt or become an embarrassment to themselves.




Reality modelling equals reality truncation. How much deflation do I want in order to hit my favoured results target?

I move then that all ideologies/belief systems , once you get past the different names and flavours are invocations of doubt. Same goes for all scientific experiments (as if there’s a difference). They are fundamentally engines for the manufacture of doubt. Any hypothesis or conclusion is accompanied by it’s opposing view (this was explored in Vol. 1 Issue 1). Sure, it’s all wrapped up in a “pursuit of truth” cloak – remember the anti-bodies? But we’re all inescapably satanic in the end. Whirling certainty-annihilating vortices.

By its very nature, ignorance does not know its bounds.


“I’m saying all the things that I know you’ll like.
Making good conversation.
I gotta handle you just right.
You know what I mean.”


If it sounds to you like I’m advocating giving up on the Pursuit Of Truth (POT), you’re aim is good but the target moves. I have not abandoned the pursuit but I have surrendered any illusion of finding. The POT is a tool for self-betterment. Another way of challenging myself to be nicer to others. The POT reminds me I’m still in pursuit with no catch to show for it. So maybe I should not get on that horse, as high and mighty as it looks. Conversely, I don’t want to be one of those guys stuck in a state of permanent fascination. Reality is a multi-faceted gem, it’s easy to get lost in the shiny-ness. So I feel compelled to adopt beliefs to fuel myself from one phase of life to another. A landing pad between forays into doubt. Realizing it’s all bull shit will not stop me from looking into things. You know, just in case it isn’t all bull shit. But this implies I’m constantly burning my beliefs. Well, I’m up for nothing if not a belief burning party. The sweaty kind under the moonlight. Invite me!

I have no truth to truck but tools to trade. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

Terence McKenna encapsulated a lot of this amusingly in the following quote: “My technique is don’t believe anything. If you believe in something, you are automatically precluded from believing its opposite”. That sounds like a belief I’d enjoy burning. 



“I took you to an intimate restaurant.
Then to a suggestive movie.
There’s nothing left to talk about.
Unless it’s horizontally.”


I personally see no way past doubt except through death. Perhaps beyond there is certainty. So obviously in my day-to-day life, I have to find a way to integrate doubt. Otherwise I remain paralyzed by the overwhelming infinitude of possibility. As blissfully terrifying as that experience is, I still need to go to work, write a blog post, cook dinner. And I’d like to enjoy a board game with friends without the crippling existential tension thank you very much! I mean who doesn’t love sexual tension? But at some point you’ll go crazy if you never get to settle on anything. Drawing conclusions may be a failed endeavour but damn does it feel good! Plus, once you’ve settled into a belief system and you’re all comfy and groggy, that just means you get to do the nasty all over again.

So live or die I’m gonna try is what I’m saying. I’m not prepared to do nothing and wait for death on a gamble that it is a transcendent experience. Even if that’s a good gamble. Instead, I’m pussy-chasing reality. That’s more the kind of life I want. Wanna be each other’s wing-man?


“Let’s get animal, animal.
I wanna get animal.
Let’s get into animal.
Let’s get animal, animal.

Find me on twitter: @ulyssesnewcomb
Let me hear your body talk.”

*Perhaps not technically Satan. There is no direct link in the Bible drawn between the serpent in Eden and Satan who comes much later chronologically. But hermeneutically speaking, the two may as well be equivalent. That’s why I can liken Grimerica to the Holy Trinity and the Devil back to back.
**Allow me this broad brush for a moment as I paint the entire western demographic with a single stroke.

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Thy will be done!

Thy will be done!

It’s been said there are two types of people in the world:

Those that divide everything into two camps and those that don’t.

Opening paradox

George Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel may have been the first to articulate this strange paradox into what has become know as Hegelian Dialectics. It is a brilliant micro/macro model of society describing its mechanism convincingly enough that regardless of other belief structures one may hide in, Hegelian Dialectics still conceivably apply. 

Hegelian Dialectics in brief are as follows. An idea ie. thesis + Opposing idea ie. antithesis = synthesis ie. both ideas giving birth to a third entity, a new idea. So what we have here is a clever way of intuitively consolidating the opening paradox. It de-frustrates the simultaneity of dualism and pluralism by explaining it as a mechanism for lived reality.

Here is a gloriously ugly diagram explaining this.

When you zig, it zags.

Hegelian Dialectics were a big influence on Karl Marx who developed the idea into a more politically/socially relevant theory. So effective a model Hegelian Dialectics is that Marx's rejigged version of it eventually became the communist manifesto that defined and predicted pretty much all of Capitalism's subsequent developments including its late stage runaway aspects. That is impressive content generation coming from a statement that is pretty much just one sentence long. 

In addition to Marx, Hegel influenced essentially all philosophers since his formulation of dialectics. Even the fringe ones that I used to think were breaking the mould (they were, but not like I thought they were.) 

Robert Anton Wilson the probably author of Principia Discordia slips into mild Hegelianism when formulating the Principia Discordia's order/chaos thesis: Imposition of Order = Escalation of Chaos.

Terence McKenna speaks of launching one's memes with force into the memetic ecosystem that they may be tested in opposition to other memes. This strikes me as hegelian: Idea vs. other ideas. 

Peter J. Caroll's will/perception model of magic owes at least a minor debt to Hegel. More on this in a future article.

Thing is though, Hegel was describing something that has been contended with since written language and abstract symbols have existed. I'm referring specifically to math. Not military-school-system-2+2=4-and-don't-you-dare-think-about-it-just-write-the-answer-down-and-do-as-you're-told type of math. I'm talking a near total abstraction of ideas - to the point of destruction - into little squiggly lines. People laugh at occultists living their life by the markings of lines on parchment but they fail to remember that lines on paper put men on the moon (probably). Lines on paper created gods for which millions of people died. And unless you are one of a handful of humans, lines on paper bind you to a lifetime of debt and slavery. 

Let's do the math shall we?


When I was granted the honour of initiation into the Grimerical pantheon of bloggers I had two simultaneous reactions - a hegelian psychic state if you will. One was excitement, the other terror. Honesty and integrity were no longer to be abstract self-imposed values. With my views on public display, honesty and integrity become key deciding factors of my growth towards the writer I want to be. Shoving my ideas forth in the arena to contend with the rest of the world means their value may now be measured by toughness. And this gladiator means to win his freedom.  

Make no mistake. Us weirdos are - on some not negligible level - collaboratively building a new cosmology. This is what reclaiming the world looks like. What do you think the renaissance looked like? People drinking booze and making art. They "talked" about things until those things happened. To use a Runesoup-ism: If you can map the world you can conquer it. And do you think the current world owners want to be conquered? Try to evict the landlord, see if he likes you then. 

It is with that tangent that I draw in part upon pythagorean numerology to substantiate my previously paragraphed claim. From what I understand of Pythagorean numerology, it is an attempt at preserving the understanding of an even older form of symbolic thinking. A thinking, if not born, then at least cohered in the cradle of Egyptian civilization - funny coincidence, the Egyptians were master squiggly line makers. 

I will now refer to John Anthony West and overlay his explanation of pythagorean thinking over hegelian dialectics. Do you have a beer in hand? Ok good, me too. Let's change the world.

Synthesis is the Three in the holy trinity of numbers. It is the unifying result of tension in polarity.
3! 3 singularities ah ah ah ah ah!

3! 3 singularities ah ah ah ah ah!

One is the creative force, the setup of the joke, the spark that lights the fire. Birth. The Absolute, unity. The Thesis.

Two is multiplicity, opposition, polarity. Two by virtue of not being singular is irreconcilable with the concept of singularity. It is plurality. The anti-thesis. 

Three Is reconciliation of opposites. A wholly separate entity from One and Two and only related to those two antecedent principles by origin. To use a mundane example: You are not a blend of your parents. You are an individual resulting from and representing the union of your parents. Though a reference to your mother and father, you are an entirely separate entity. Air is neither water or fire. Heating up water gets you air. "That's a  miracle you see everyday" he says, winking at the alchemists. 

Furthermore, with little effort, we already express the unifying force of Three in our language. Two parents and a child make a couple into a family. 3's superpower is reconciliation. 

I think this thread of pythagorean numerology tugs at the origin of a lot of religious beliefs. Trinitarian gods are very common and generally do express the same thing as we've just discussed.

We could keep going and make associations. The three act structure in literature and film. Jokes generally are made of setup, punchline, tag. The rule of thirds in visual arts. Your turn now!

Three is that hidden harmony in everything which appears polarized. The soothing of tension. It's difficult to write about and every attempt I make at describing my experience of this frustrates me as it ends up digressing into increasingly lame and ineffectual stabs at a target that not only moves but seems to actively avoid attempts at definition.  Trust me, I spent more time editing the above paragraphs than I care to admit. I implore your forgiveness. 

This is what I see in the Hegelian model. A cosmic principle, intellectually elusive. But intuitively obvious when applied to mundanely observed things; such as society, a relationship, an argument, a business meeting; or the banner under which happen a podcast, a blog, a community of weirdos, future things yet to exist. The Grimericumbrella if you will.

Bringing it home

Here I come to save the day!

Here I come to save the day!

With all expansions into enormous and slippery corners of reality there must always be a return to practicality. Darren will confirm this - though he may be in a state of low altitude perma-flight  (that's called sainthood in some circles). I think in pretty much all cases, at some point the fuel runs out and the ship must land. I Don't know about you but this is where I feel the most lost. I can not drag myself to a stable model of morality. Good and evil are too spectrum-y. So I certainly do not feel drawn to activism. For reasons which will become clear in future articles, I have a severe allergy to righteousness and telling-others-the-right-thing-to-do. 

I have no degrees, no specializations, my mind has not been sanctioned by authorities. I am an expert in nothing but my own experience. I do not know what is my message, just that I have one. I have lived a strange life and found a few useful tricks along the way that may be of use to you as well. Caveat emptor.

Now I will tie a knot on this thing but only because I think I have to. Please pull at the string so we can watch it all unravel. 

Graham, in our frustrating metaphysical scenario, is the believer/thesis/Father. Darren is the skeptic/antithesis/Son and Grimerica is the what-happens-in-*your*-head/synthesis/Holy Ghost. Grimerica has become it's own entity separate from the components of which it is made. I'm sure you are familiar with the structure of a fractal. You know how each component reflects the whole in it's entirety? Yeah, like that. As above so below. Do you want to know the big thing? Go to the little thing. 

The Holy Grimerican Ghost has come to operate with it's own vaguely knowable set of moving codes and parameters. An agile target escaping definition. I was called and this series of articles is my answer. I declare these words a holy pilgrimage.

I am Grimerica. May I find God.


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