This article will sort of close out this general opening arc of Grimerica articles I’m writing. To catch up, here’s part 1 and part 2. After this we’ll move on to topics that are slightly more… anchored. I’ll have a hard time prying myself away from this personal requirement to demystify God. Apophatic theology will likely stay with me for a long time. Something in this story needs a resolution and i’ll be damned if I don’t give it my best shot to write at least a good couple of chapters. I’m a 15 year old boy with a newly acquired B-B gun or bow and arrow. I recently shot my first animal and poking the corpse in proud and curious horror it got up and poked back. My experience in this life taught me an important lesson. Suspect he who removes your options. This is not true love. And I seek to give and receive nothing if not love.
There is all this talk of evidence in the atmosphere but I’ve found myself in certain moments relying on instinct. This bore out a decade or two later. I’ve had holy and beautiful things weaponized against me and those I love. Large portions of my life have been nothing but secret scheming for escape. As a result, in some moments everything feels so God-damned important. The stakes feel high. There’s an eat the food or be the food kind of vibe to this thing.
My heart aches for battle. Maybe taking it seriously is the punchline. I’m reminded that the elephant fears the rodent. Goliath falls before David. The tower does not reach the heavens. I’m small so going in I confidently hope that the invisible swarm is there*. But there’s an outside chance it may not be. I’ve tried blind faith a few times before and it’s a gamble that pays off big or wipes you clean. Even knowing the house can lose, I no longer need to borrow to bet it all on a 50/50. You got to know when to walk away.
I guess I’m in resource grind mode. I’m gonna be doing side quests for a while. Clear this dungeon, find a nugget of wisdom. Slay a giant, gain influence. Help a villager find his cow, blessing of the gods. The game is rich enough to shelve the main quest. The landscapes are beautiful. That’s a pretty good place to be all things considered. But…
I like taking a whack at the big boss in my spare time. I mean, if I lose I’m still around. If I win, the boss stays dead. Probably. You can’t win if you don’t play.
So here I go: If I die biting off God’s finger, I will have feasted well. Here are my best pebbles. May the monomyth watch over me.
What is the mechanic of a god? How does anything work? What are the basic functions? Taking my cue from the axiom as above so below, I see a few patterns that may or may not hint at a deep structure.
Stars need gas, planets need momentum, animals need water and air and food. What fuels a god? What is the one thing gods seek? Worship. Focused attention. The more focused the attention, the more refined the fuel, the more powerful the god. This should give you a hint as to what mono-theism is all about.
Memory erasure is the only true death. Big gods get very hungry. They need lots of fuel. They might even become predators in their survival scramble. At this point you should start noticing that anything which uses attention as fuel is a god. This places power in your court. You can kill your gods by denying them their food source. Just focus your attention elsewhere. Your power is yours to give – I’m not pointing fingers by the way. I am you and you are me, goo-goo-g’jube. Don’t think of a pink elephant. Oops! There you go creating gods again! This power can cripple. Why this god-trap? Of course, you can focus on your Self and be internally fueled. A self-cannibalizing deity. This is the apex of inertia. Such power! The immovable object. Such non-ness! Your call. It’s not the tone I’m looking for. I seek movement.
A Rhyzomic relationship. How about being a god who worships? What changes do you want to see? Worship fellow gods who can craft. What kinds of fuel propels you? The answer to this question is the key to being worthy of your allies. The key to this practice is belief in all gods. But the trinity godhead of materialism, empiricism and reductionism have recently come to demand exclusive devotion. These gods have not come to terms with their mortality. They grasp and grab and hoard. Divine capitalism. Become your own god and you will be a liberated worshiper, prostrating yourself only before those deserving of your worship. It’s about dignity. Become what you forgot you’d set out to be.
Fear and Faith
“The only clear view is from atop the mountain of your dead selves.” – Peter J. Carroll
I confidently assert that deities fear you. Long have you been their death god. Kill your gods, make your gods, be your gods. You’ll have to play with the levels until you get the tone you want. Tweaking is part of the fun. The sweet spot moves. Responsiveness isn’t combat, it’s conversation. This is the magician’s transgression after all. To set one’s hands on the holy dials.
*zoom out to a collective frame* I think we’re all adjusting to a recently expanded perspective. We chased immortality so long but instead it caught us. This memory has us reeling a little bit. Like the student who can finally beat his master. The battle becomes the decision to pull the trigger. You are your own master. Love your self enough to transform.
Hungry gods competing for fuel cause wars. Lack is a murderer. Your fear of death could spark a war.
The bigger the animal, the more it feeds. Gods are not so limited by dimension like animals, or planets. What are a god’s limitations? What is a god’s natural habitat? Mind. Does your mind have a limit? You may have to parse mental real estate. To quote Lon Milo Duquette: “It’s all in your head… you just have no idea how big your head is.”
Thus you are the God of gods. The other gods fear or revere you. They may bluff otherwise. Don’t be an ass about it. Share. Co-create. Collaborate. Other people have power over your godhood. Your friends are your elders. You are your own master.
You live in an aeon where gods are being created by the truckload. Stay focused. There’s a lot of competition and the gods lost the habit of experimentation. Everyone’s being put through the ringer a little bit. Foragers are becoming gatherers and gatherers, predators. It’s a divine jungle out there. Be kind and carry a stick.
Finger Food for Thought
Who is your creator? Who is God? Be realistic. You got to know when to hold ’em.
Statement of Intent
Saint Terrence often said: “Find the others.” Well here you are! Goo-goo-g’jube. The beast may rise at our poking but it is wounded. The work is nearly done. Our horror must be tempered by the memory of the children this monster eats.
This is what I write on the wall. May they who fear us, fear us further still! We are witness to your weeping wound and worship it that it may grow and be your death. This is true love.
Read my words demon king! With this finger I declare:
Mene: God has numbered the days of your reign and brought it to an end.
Tekel: You have been weighed on the scales and found wanting.
Peres: Your kingdom is divided.
Now for some sweet side quests.